Officially Bummed

It happened. Brittainy and I broke up. It seemed like the only option left. We tried a break and I don't know if we gave it out best effort. I was hoping having something final like this would make me feel better. But for some odd reason I feel like I've made a mistake. I feel like I lost a friend. We had such a good bond and I don't want to lose that. Or her for that matter. I dunno. Part of me feels like we can and perhaps will make this work at another time. Everything in my life had been going so great and she was a large part in that. Maybe i'm looking at it from all the wrong angles. What i do know is that i miss her. I can't even help that. It sucks, but it's going to bother me today, tonight, and for a while yet. This fucking sucks. I feel like she should miss me, i did all i could for her. I tried to make things work, but the distance got the better of us and our emotions. Where to from here? I wish i knew. What i do know is this. It's not gonna be easy and i don't want this to come between the amazing friendship we've built in this short 4 months. Fuck i am just at a complete loss right now. Like i said in the title of this entry... i am bummed. What did i do to deserve this shitty feeling in the pit of my stomach? I just want to be happy. I just want to meet someone who feels as strongly about me as I do about them. I don't think i'm asking a lot. Sigh..........